Ever since Alexander Bell invented the telephone, women have been asking this question. Why didn’t he call me back, why didn’t he call when he said that he would, and is he ever going to call?
There are as many answers for the question “why didn’t he call” as there are men in the world. Most men have their individual reasons, some of them are valid while some don’t make sense to women at all.
The 7 Most Common Reasons Why He Didn’t Call You
1. He doesn’t want to seem too eager.
This is one of the most common reasons why he doesn’t call. This is most true in the early stages of a dating relationship. Most of the time he will call eventually, but he won’t call you right away because he wants to give the you the illusion that he actually has a life outside of dating.
Often men that say they aren’t playing by the old fashioned notion of “The Rules”, really are. They want to be in control of the chase. In this case, he will call, but on his terms and on his timing. Women often think if he doesn’t call back right away, it means something terrible. Not always, he’s just waiting for the right time.
2. He changed his mind or is seeing someone else.
While we would hope this is not the case, sometimes it happens that he’s not calling because he’s just not that into you. This one holds most true for those in the early stages of a relationship. In most cases he will change his mind if there have been little to no actual real dates. If you met him at a bar for example, and never heard from him again, he sobered up and changed his mind or woke up the next morning and remembered that he already had a girlfriend.
3. He’s trying to figure out how much he likes you.
This reason is for those that have been dating for a little while and are going to be taking it to the next level in the future. When he doesn’t call, what he is doing is trying to figure out how much he likes you. Sounds a little counter productive, but by not calling he is figuring out with himself what is like not to talk to you all the time, and how not having you on phone standby makes him feel. If he’s into you, he will miss you and you will hear from him.
4. He CAN’T call you.
In these cases, he has an actual reason that has nothing to do with the girl in question. He might be fighting pirates, closing a big deal, composing a new opera, or visiting his grandmother in the hospital. Whatever his reason is, he has one, and when he has dealt with the pirates and the opera music, he will call you back, or call you like he said he would. This is for those that have been involved with him for a few months, or a few dates, and are genuinely confused as to why he doesn’t call.
5. He was drunk when he said he would call and has completely forgotten.
You can insert any aspect of life into “drunk” and the concept would still hold true. Men have a lot on their plates and sometimes forget that they promised to call someone, especially if they just met her. If he really likes her, eventually he will sober up and remember, but it could be a few days for this one.
6. He doesn’t want to feel like he’s on a leash.
This reason is most common for those already in long-term relationships. Married, engaged couples, and long term couples experience this frequently. He just doesn’t want to call, because he wants to experience the freedom of singlehood on occasion by not having to check in every five minutes.
7. He’s upset.
For those that have been involved in a dating relationship for a little while, and he suddenly goes a little cold, not calling is often a sign that he’s upset. This doesn’t necessarily mean the end of the relationship, just that he needs a little cooling off time.
Did you two have a fight and you are waiting for him to call and make up? Did you say or do something that you know set him off, even a little? Maybe he’s not even upset with you in particular, but you have reached a point of progressing in commitment and he’s a little gun shy. Not calling in situations like this would be his way of trying to sort it out on his own, before he has an actual conversation with you about it.
The Bottom Line – Why He Didn’t Call You
There is an idea that when he’s not calling you, he’s just not that into you. This is not always the case. Men are simpler creatures than women believe, if they aren’t calling, there’s usually a reason. Pay attention to whether he eventually gets back to you or has dropped you cold. This is more telling than whether it was several hours or several days before he returned your call or text.
Unfortunately women often jump to conclusions and think the worst. Why he doesn’t call isn’t always about his feelings for you. Often enough just giving him the space he is taking without jumping down his throat will be all he needs to get back to you eventually.